shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
