Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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