doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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