it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
40s are totally the cure
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
