the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize