What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
