is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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