the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
