hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
40s are totally the cure
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
