I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
