Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
