shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
