So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
