i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
