okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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