oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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