at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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