my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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