It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
