This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
