you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
