I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
