Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
did i walk over a car last night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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