I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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