the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
