hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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