Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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