that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
