I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
