Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
