oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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