His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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