It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
