Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
