what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
