ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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