I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
