take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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