dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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