so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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