My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
