dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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