im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Randomize
