at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize