he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
