i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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