The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Your tits are I can't wait for
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
