omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
