: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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