she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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