I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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