Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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