His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
