butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
