$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
