I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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