You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
