Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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