I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
