I need help removing her.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
