Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
