He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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