Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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