Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
