He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
