so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
