how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
