I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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