i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize