He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
