do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
