he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I AM VODKA MAN
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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