I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
