honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I enjoy the company of your penis
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