dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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