dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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